Parenting with a Tired Heart: Support with Parental Burnout
- The Counselling Cove
- Jun 9
- 4 min read
Parenting can be one of the most meaningful parts of our lives. Watching our little humans grow into their own personalities is deeply special. But in today’s fast-paced, often isolating world, parenting can also be relentless, overwhelming, and just plain exhausting.
If you thought life was busy before kids, try managing it while a case of gastro sweeps through the house. If social catch-ups felt hard before, try squeezing one in between daycare bugs, forgotten library bags, and tiny humans talking over you every 30 seconds.
Many parents find themselves holding two things at once: deep love for their children and deep fatigue from the daily grind. That’s normal.
But what happens when the exhaustion doesn’t ease? When feeling stretched thin becomes your new baseline?
What is parental burnout?
While we often talk about burnout in the workplace, parental burnout is just as real - and often overlooked. Parenting is one of the most fatiguing roles out there: there’s no paid leave, no knock-off time, and your pint-sized “bosses” are demanding and rarely let you take a break to sit down, let alone a long lunch break.
Parental burnout happens when the constant demands of parenting outstrip your emotional and physical resources. It’s more than feeling tired. It’s chronic emotional depletion, feeling disconnected from your children, and losing the spark or joy you once had in your parenting role.
In a large study across 42 countries, 5% of parents showed signs of burnout - rising to nearly 9% in Western countries. That number increases for solo parents, those managing financial stress or chronic illness, or parents raising neurodivergent children or children with additional needs.
And burnout isn’t just physical. It’s the mental load of remembering appointments, managing logistics, navigating big emotions (yours and theirs), and carrying the weight of it all - often while trying to present as if you are holding it all together.
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why am I finding this so hard when everyone else seems to cope?” - you’re not alone. I promise you, many people are struggling too - we’re just not always talking about it.
The ripple effects of burnout
When parental burnout goes unrecognised or unsupported, it doesn’t just impact our own wellbeing - it can affect the whole family. It’s been linked to increased anxiety, sleep difficulties, and depression in parents, as well as higher conflict in relationships and emotional challenges in children.
That’s why looking after yourself isn’t a luxury - it’s a necessity.
Could it be burnout?
Some signs of parental burnout include:
Constant emotional or physical exhaustion
Feeling disconnected from your children
A sense of being stuck, trapped, or resentful
Feeling like you’re going through the motions, rather than really being present
A painful mismatch between how you wanted to parent and how you're feeling now
Let’s normalise the struggle
As a counsellor - and a parent of three - I’ve absolutely had seasons of “just get to bedtime.” I remember those early years clearly: the chaos, the clutter, the near-constant background noise. There were plenty of days where I didn’t feel like I was coping, and even more where I felt uninspired to show up and do it all over again. Is this really what it is for the next few decades?
Sometimes survival mode is the only mode. You know self-care would help, but who has time for yoga when the laundry’s been in the machine for two days and dinner’s still a mystery? If you don’t have much support, even asking for help can feel like another thing on your list that you don't have time to get to.
Gentle check-in questions
If you’re wondering whether burnout might be showing up in your parenting, here are a few reflective questions that can help you tune in with how you are feeling:
What part of parenting is feeling the most draining right now?
When was the last time I felt rested or relaxed?
What kind of support feels like it would help - even a little?
Do I feel like I’m always “on”?
What parts of my day are just for me?
Am I carrying expectations or pressures that others can’t see?
What would it mean to offer myself more kindness for how hard this is?
Support matters - and prioritising you is important
When I sit with parents in counselling, there’s often a visible sigh of relief - the feeling of finally being able to talk openly, without judgement - and without risking a barrage of advice that you didn't ask for.
It’s not uncommon to hear: “I love my kids more than anything, but I miss the version of me that…” And in that moment, they speak a truth they haven’t had space to say elsewhere. Together, we work to help you reconnect with that part of yourself - the one outside the parenting role.
Together, we start to rebuild the emotional reserves that may have run dry. Sometimes that means self-care. Sometimes it’s self-compassion - especially if perfectionism or pressure are part of your story.
We explore your values, what feels most meaningful to you as a parent, and what small changes could make your day-to-day feel less overwhelming. We might talk about your relationships, extended family dynamics, or how to grow your support network in sustainable ways.
Because support does make a difference. Research shows that parents are less likely to burn out when they feel emotionally supported, have strong social connections, and share the parenting load.
If parenting feels heavy right now, it’s not because you’re failing. It’s likely because you’re doing too much, with too little support. You deserve the same compassion, care, and gentleness that you offer your children. Because you matter.
And you need to matter for the others around you who rely on you to keep showing up.
If you’d like a space to pause, reflect, and feel supported in your parenting journey, I’d be honoured to sit alongside you.
To make it easier to access support, I offer:
🪷 Face-to-face sessions in a cosy, calm room inside Aesthetic Haus in Caringbah
🚶♀️ Walk & Talk therapy in the fresh air
💻 Telehealth appointments from the comfort of your home, including flexible evening and weekend appointments.
You don’t need to wait until you’re completely burnt out to ask for help. Let’s find small, meaningful ways to support you - one manageable step at a time.
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