Understanding Anxiety: Calming the Alarm without Silencing Yourself
- The Counselling Cove
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
Anxiety has a way of showing up uninvited. It can whisper doubts, tighten your chest, and convince you that something terrible is just around the corner. It can feel like an exhausting inner critic - one that never stops analysing, worrying, or asking “what if?”
But what if anxiety isn’t actually the enemy? What if, with the right support, it could become something gentler - even a quiet coach that helps you understand yourself more deeply?
Introduce curiosity towards anxiety
When we experience anxiety, our natural instinct is to push it away - to quiet it, control it, or avoid whatever stirs it up. But often, the more we resist anxiety, the louder it becomes.
Anxiety is, in many ways, our body’s way of trying to keep us safe. It’s scanning for danger, anticipating outcomes, and preparing us for what might come next. It just doesn’t always know when to switch off.
Learning to meet anxiety with curiosity rather than judgment is a powerful shift. Instead of asking, “How do I get rid of this?”, we might gently ask, “What is my anxiety trying to tell me right now?”
Sometimes it’s signalling that you’re stretched too thin, carrying too much. Other times, it’s highlighting a value - something deeply important to you that feels under threat.
This small change in perspective can open the door to self-compassion and insight, rather than shame or fear.
Something to try instead
Next time you notice your anxiety rising, try this small, grounding practice:
Pause and name what’s happening.Simply say to yourself, “I’m noticing anxiety.” Naming it can create just a little space between you and the feeling.
Breathe slowly. A long exhale can help signal to your nervous system that you’re safe in this moment.
Be curious, not critical. Ask yourself:
What might this part of me be worried about?
Is it trying to protect me from something?
What do I need right now to feel supported?
You don’t need to have all the answers - the act of gentle curiosity itself can begin to soften the edges of anxiety.
How anxiety impacts the body
When anxiety shows up, it’s not just “in your head.” Your brain’s alarm system - particularly the amygdala - activates the body’s fight-or-flight response. Your heart may race, your stomach might twist, and your breathing can become shallow.
These are signs that your body is trying to protect you from a perceived threat - even if that “threat” is simply an upcoming meeting, a conversation, or an unknown outcome.
By slowing your breath or grounding through your senses (like noticing what you can see, touch, or hear), you send a quiet signal back to your body: “I’m safe right now.” Over time, this helps your nervous system learn it doesn’t always need to sound the alarm.
Finding support through anxiety counselling
You are not your anxiety. It's one part of you - often the part that cares deeply about getting things right, staying safe, or being loved.
In counselling, we take the time to listen to what this part of you is trying to say. Together, we can untangle the patterns that keep anxiety loud, calm the body’s alarm system, and help you respond to yourself with more understanding and steadiness.
The goal isn’t to silence anxiety completely - it’s to help it find a gentler role in your life, one that supports rather than overwhelms you.
If you’d like support through anxiety counselling you’re warmly invited to reach out. I offer counselling in-person in Caringbah in Sydney's Sutherland Shire, Walk & Talk Therapy in southern Sydney, and online counselling Australia wide.
You don’t have to face anxiety alone. With the right support, it can shift from an alarm system into a quiet guide - one that no longer shouts for control, but whispers for care.
