The Burnout creep: How it sneaks up on you

The Counselling Cove
Aug 21
3 min read

Updated: Aug 24

Burnout rarely arrives with sirens blaring. It’s more like a slow leak in your system - so quiet you don’t notice until you’re running on empty. Many of my clients who see me for burnout counselling tell me, “I thought I was just tired. I thought if I could get through the week, things would settle. I didn’t realise how far I’d slipped until my body forced me to stop.”

Burnout doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’ve been carrying too much, for too long, without enough space to restore yourself.

And the hardest part? It creeps in so gradually that by the time you see it, you may already feel like a shadow of yourself.

Here’s how that creep can unfold:

1. The Spark

It begins with drive. Maybe it’s a new job, a promotion, a caring role, or a passion project. You throw yourself in wholeheartedly, proud of your effort, fuelled by purpose.

For a while, it feels good. You like the sense of moving forward. But the momentum can mask the cost - it’s easy to overlook your limits when everything feels exciting.

2. The “I’ll Manage” Phase

Slowly, demands increase. A few extra responsibilities here, a favour there. You convince yourself it’s manageable: “It’s busy, but I’ll push through.”

On the outside, you still look capable. Inside, though, you’ve started trading little pieces of yourself - rest, calm, energy - to keep the pace.

3. The Self-Sacrifice Stage

This is where the erosion begins. Sleep gets cut short. Meals are rushed. Time with friends, hobbies, or exercise - gone. You tell yourself it’s temporary, but days turn into weeks, and self-care slips further and further away.

It doesn’t always feel dramatic, but that’s the danger. The drip, drip, drip of sacrifice quietly empties the well.

4. The Weight of Dread

What once felt exciting now feels heavy. You wake with a knot in your stomach. Tasks blur into endless chores. Motivation evaporates, replaced by distraction or numbness.

Sometimes this is when people first whisper to themselves: “Something’s wrong with me.” But nothing is wrong with you - your system is crying out for rest, and it’s been ignored for too long.

5. The Resentment Rise

Frustration builds. You feel unappreciated, unsupported, burdened. You might snap more easily, or catch yourself silently blaming your boss, your workplace, or the people depending on you.

And maybe those pressures are unfair. But beneath the resentment is a deeper truth: you’ve been pouring from an empty cup, and there’s nothing left to give.

6. The Comparison Trap

Now the loneliness sets in. Looking around, you wonder why everyone else seems to cope fine. Mistakes creep in, your confidence wavers, and shame whispers: “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I handle this?”

I want you to know: there is nothing wrong with you. You’re not weak. You’re exhausted. You’re human. And humans aren’t designed to keep going endlessly without care.

7. The Numbing Stage

Deep down, you know you’re not okay. But admitting it feels terrifying - like failure. So you bury it. Maybe with fast food, late-night scrolling, wine, or keeping yourself frantically busy.

These are not signs of weakness. They’re survival strategies. But they keep you stuck in a cycle of exhaustion, because the pain never gets addressed - it just gets muffled.

8. The Collapse

Eventually, burnout stops being invisible. Your body forces a halt: anxiety attacks, depression, illness, overwhelming fatigue. It’s frightening, disorienting, and it feels like you’ve lost yourself.

But here’s what I want you to hear most: this point - painful as it is - is also the beginning of honesty. When you can no longer deny your struggle, you finally have permission to seek help and rebuild in a kinder, more sustainable way.

Prioritising yourself again

If you see yourself anywhere along this path, please know: you are not failing. You are not broken. Burnout is not a reflection of your worth - it’s a reflection of impossible demands on a finite human being.

Counselling can give you a place to rest from the pretending. A space to say, “I’m not coping,” and be met with compassion instead of judgement. Together, we can explore what led you here, and how to slowly restore balance so you can feel like yourself again.

You don’t have to wait until the collapse to make changes. Even recognising the creep is an important step. And wherever you are in this journey, there is a way forward.