Feeling Lost? Try this gentle counselling tool to find your way again.
- The Counselling Cove
- Jul 31
- 3 min read
There are seasons in life where everything feels blurry.
You’re going through the motions - work, family, appointments, to-do lists - but something feels… off. You might not even be able to name what’s wrong. You just know you’re tired, flat, disconnected. Things that used to bring joy or purpose feel distant. You’re not sure what you want anymore - only that it’s not this.
This kind of lostness is quiet, and it creeps in slowly. Especially for women. Especially for parents or carers, or anyone who’s spent years putting other people’s needs ahead of their own.
That sense of feeling lost or stuck is more common than it seems - and it doesn’t always announce itself with big life events. Sometimes, it creeps in quietly, through stress, burnout, long stretches of coping, or simply not having space to think about your own needs.
And in those foggy moments, knowing where to begin can feel impossible.
But there’s a small, gentle tool from counselling that can help spark clarity. It doesn’t offer instant answers, but it can begin to clear a path forward - one grounded in your own longings and values.
It’s called the Miracle Question.
What is the Miracle Question?
The Miracle Question comes from a therapeutic approach called Solution-Focused Brief Therapy. It’s a deceptively simple way of getting unstuck - not by solving everything at once, but by helping you reconnect with what matters most to you.
It goes something like this:
“Imagine that tonight, while you’re asleep, a miracle happens. The things that have been making you feel stuck, heavy, or directionless are resolved - but because you were asleep, you don’t know the miracle has happened. When you wake up in the morning, what would be the first signs that something is different? What would you notice about yourself, your day, or your life?”
This isn’t about ignoring problems or pretending everything is fine. It’s about tuning in to the good that might feel just out of reach right now - the calm, the connection, the energy, the joy.
Why it can help when you’re feeling directionless
When we’re unsure where we’re going, it’s easy to fall into the deep-end of existential questions:
What’s the point? Who even am I anymore? What am I doing with my life?
These are valid and human - but trying to answer them all at once is often overwhelming.
The Miracle Question offers a gentler approach. It doesn’t ask for a grand vision or a five-year plan. It simply invites you to imagine one better day. A day that feels more like you.
You might say things like:
I’d wake up feeling rested and hopeful.
I’d take my time making breakfast instead of rushing.
I’d feel lighter in my body, less weighed down.
My partner and I would feel more connected.
I would be more present with my children.
I’d make more time for myself.
I’d feel more connected to my friends.
I’d have something to look forward to.
Each response holds a clue - a thread that can be gently followed toward reconnection, purpose, or care.
Using those clues as a guide to step toward what matters
The Miracle Question isn’t about pretending life is perfect. It’s about noticing what you wish felt more possible - and taking one small step in that direction.
If your miracle includes feeling calm, is there one small thing today that might bring even a sliver of calm amongst the chaos?
If it includes feeling connected, could you reach out - even just a little - to someone who gets you?
If it includes purpose, is there a quiet act that reminds you who you are underneath all the doing?
It starts small but often taking that first gentle step brings just enough clarity to see where your feet could land next, and then building on that momentum with time.
How counselling can support this process
You might explore these questions on your own - through journaling, reflection, or quiet moments. But when you’re feeling stuck, it can help to have someone beside you. Counselling offers a safe space to untangle what feels heavy and gently find your way forward.
Therapy isn’t about quick fixes. It’s about making space for your questions - and supporting you to be gently curious about your own answers. That space can help you reconnect with what’s been missing, and with the version of you that feels most true.
Sometimes, the way forward begins with a quiet conversation.
Sometimes, it begins with a question.
And sometimes, the smallest shift is what helps you find your path again.
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