How to Find a Therapist: What to Look For (and What Really Matters)

The Counselling Cove
3 days ago
4 min read

Finding a therapist can feel like a big step - and sometimes a surprisingly complicated one. You might know you need support, but not quite know how to choose the right person, or what actually matters when you’re looking.

There’s no single “right” way to find a therapist. What matters most is finding someone who fits your life, your needs, and your sense of safety.

To help take some of the pressure off, I’ve gathered a few considerations below - not as a checklist to get “right”, but as gentle prompts to help you think about what might matter for you.

How to Find a Therapist: Key Things to Consider

1. Availability and Waitlists

One of the most practical (and often frustrating) realities of therapy is availability.

Some therapists have long waitlists, while others may have openings sooner. If you’re seeking support during a particularly heavy or time-sensitive period, waiting several months may not be realistic or helpful.

It’s okay to ask:

Are you currently accepting new clients?
How long is the wait?
Do you keep a cancellation list?

Sometimes the right therapist is the one who can actually see you when you need support.

2. Does It Fit Into Your Real Life?

Therapy needs to work alongside your life - not become another source of stress.

Consider things like:

Do they offer sessions outside standard business hours?
Are evening or weekend appointments available?
How easy is it to attend sessions around work, caring responsibilities, or energy levels?

If fitting therapy in feels logistically impossible, it can quietly undermine the benefit of the work itself. A good fit is often a sustainable fit.

3. Location and Accessibility

For some people, being close to home (or work) makes all the difference. For others, the emotional safety of being a little removed from everyday spaces is important.

You might want to think about:

How far are you willing or able to travel?
Is parking or public transport access important?
Would walk-and-talk sessions or outdoor options suit you?

Practical barriers can add up, especially when you’re already feeling stretched.

4. Online Sessions and Flexibility

Online therapy has made support more accessible for many people - particularly during busy seasons of life, illness, or periods of emotional overwhelm.

You may want to ask:

Do you offer online sessions?
Can sessions move online at short notice if needed?
Is there flexibility if life unexpectedly intervenes?

Having options can reduce pressure and make it easier to keep showing up, even when things don’t go to plan.

5. Therapeutic Style and Modalities

You don’t need to understand every therapy acronym to choose well - but it can help to know whether a therapist’s approach aligns with what you’re looking for.

Some therapists are more structured and skills-based. Others are more relational, reflective, or exploratory. Many work integratively, drawing from several approaches.

You might reflect on:

Do I want practical tools, space to talk, or a mix of both?
Am I looking for short-term support or deeper, longer-term work?
Does the therapist’s description of their work resonate with me?

Often, it’s less about the modality itself and more about how the therapist uses it with care and attunement.

If you’re curious, I’ve outlined some of the therapeutic approaches I use and what they mean in practice, which may help if you’re starting to learn the difference between approaches like CBT and ACT (so many acronyms I know!).

6. Experience in the Area You’re Seeking Support For

While therapy is always shaped by the individual, it can be helpful to work with someone who has experience supporting people with the concerns you’re bringing.

This might include areas such as:

Experience doesn’t mean your therapist needs to have lived the same experiences as you (though some times that can help). It means they have spent time listening, learning, and working carefully with people facing similar challenges - and understand the common patterns, sensitivities, and complexities that can arise.

You’re allowed to ask:

Do you work often with this concern?
How do you usually support people in this area?
What might therapy look like for this kind of work?

A therapist should be able to speak to this in a way that feels clear and grounded, without overpromising outcomes.

7. Personality Fit and Feeling at Ease

One of the strongest predictors of helpful therapy isn’t technique - it’s the relationship.

You deserve to feel:

Respected and taken seriously
Emotionally safe
Comfortable enough to be honest, even when things are messy

This doesn’t mean therapy should always feel easy, but it should feel grounded in trust. Sometimes people know very quickly whether a therapist feels like a good fit. Other times it takes a few sessions - and that’s okay too.

8. Can You “Meet” Them First?

Many therapists offer a short phone call or initial consultation. This can be a helpful way to get a sense of:

Their communication style
How they respond to your questions
Whether you feel at ease speaking with them

You’re not expected to perform or explain everything perfectly. This is simply a chance to notice whether speaking together feels comfortable and workable.

Some therapists, for example, offer a brief introductory chat before booking. These conversations are often less about diving into details, and more about taking the pressure off starting therapy - giving you space to ask questions and see whether it feels like a good place to begin.

9. It’s Okay to Reconsider

If you start with a therapist and it doesn’t feel right, you’re allowed to reassess. Therapy is a service, and changing therapists is not a personal failure or rejection - it’s part of finding what works for you.

A thoughtful therapist will understand this and support you in making a decision that feels right.

What Matters Most

Finding a therapist isn’t about finding the “best” one - it’s about finding the right fit for this season of your life. Practical considerations matter. Emotional safety matters. Your capacity matters.

Taking the time to consider these things is already a meaningful step toward caring for yourself - and that in itself matters.